prosim zarazte uz ten spam, vzdyt je to porad totez.<br><br><div><span class="gmail_quote">8 Jan 2007 12:13:08 GMT, <a href="mailto:MI5Victim@mi5.gov.uk">MI5Victim@mi5.gov.uk</a> <<a href="mailto:MI5Victim@mi5.gov.uk">MI5Victim@mi5.gov.uk
</a>>:</span><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="border-left: 1px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); margin: 0pt 0pt 0pt 0.8ex; padding-left: 1ex;">Dirk was on the West Coast when he got the call. An old<br>friend at the Toronto police department thought he would like
<br>to fly up and take a look at a homicide which had occurred<br>the previous evening. He decided to skip the last day at the<br>World Holistics conference and take the next plane out of<br>San Francisco.<br><br>The flight was bad; Dirk had been hit on the back of the head
<br>by the Newspaper trolley, the drinks trolley, the dinner trolley<br>and now the gift trolley. When the hostesses weren't trying to<br>tear his arm off they pestered him to stop leaning into the aisle<br>- ignoring the fact that the guy next to him was taking up one and
<br> a half seats. Air Canada used to be the flight which was so<br>good you just didn't wanna get off - on this occasion Dirk<br>would be glad to see the back of the plane and the over sized<br>alternative comedian wedged into the window seat.
<br><br>After breathing in a couple of lungfulls of crisp Canadian air<br>Dirk took a taxi into town. There was a small group of<br>demonstrators outside the MacDonalds and the taxi driver<br>insisted on stopping on the opposite side of the street. 'Don't
<br>Eat Meat' the placards read and the demonstrators chanted. A<br>couple of policemen where stopping the crowd entering the<br>restaurant itself - one held up his arm and challenged Dirk. A<br>wave of the fax he had been sent and the policeman pushed
<br>open the door.<br><br>There were few customers in the restaurant. Not surprising<br>really with a demonstration going on outside, half the dining<br>area roped off with tape and a dead body seated at one of the<br>tables. 'Mr Gently sir' the officer in charge called out as he
<br>peeled one end of the tape off a column 'We were told not to<br>touch anything til' you got here'.<br><br>The body of the man slumped awkwardly in a chair. Then<br>even a dead body would start getting uncomfortable in a
<br>MacDonalds chair after twenty minutes - and this one had<br>been there for at least eighteen hours. Two back legs and the<br>tail of a cat hung out of the man's gaping mouth. Dirk turned<br>to the officer, 'I suppose you are going to tell me this is the
<br>darndest thing you ever saw?'<br><br>'Ain't this the darnd...'. The officer seemed annoyed that Dirk<br>had second guessed him. 'We're removing the body in a few<br>minutes, so if you can get through as quick as possible'
<br><br>'Many people eat cats in fast food restaurants?' Dirk asked<br>and without waiting for an answer leant over the table to pick<br>up an untouched burger. 'And what's this?' he asked waving<br>it in front of the officers face.
<br><br>'It's a Vedgie Burger' The waitress, who was cleaning one of<br>the adjacent tables, shouted across. She walked over to Dirk.<br>'We started doing them because of that lot out there' she<br>nodded towards the protesters who were pressing there faces
<br>against the windows 'They're called Linda McCartney Vedgie<br>burgers - ever heard of them?'<br><br>Dirk suddenly felt faint, perhaps a combination of hunger and<br>jet lag. 'This is deja vu all over again' he thought to himself.
<br>He glanced at policemen - at the badge on his shoulder 'OPD'<br>but this wasn't Ontario this was Toronto. OPD - Officially<br>Pronounced Dead. It dawned on Dirk what was happening, he<br>knew what he would see if he looked out of the window. Sure
<br>enough, there it was, the Volkswagen Beetle parked across<br>the road - number plate 28IF - 28 IF Paul McCartney had<br>lived. And amongst the lyrics of the song blaring out into the<br>restaurant he could pick out the words 'I buried Paul'. Now it
<br>was though Dirk was viewing the whole scene though a TV<br>screen. This was conspiracy. Not -a- conspiracy, or -the-<br>conspiracy, but just plain conspiracy.<br><br>'You look faint - are you OK mister? The waitress asked.
<br><br>Dirk shook his head 'Probably a bit hungry' Then to<br>economise on dialogue took out a pack of cigarettes and held<br>it out towards the girl. She was about to take one but Dirk<br>snatched the pack away, held it up to his mouth and drew out
<br>two cigarettes. He lit both then passed one of them to the girl.<br>It was the closest he had come to a sexual encounter in three<br>months.<br><br>'Want a Burger?' the waitress asked.<br><br>Dirk looked down at the Vedgie Burger on the table. 'No
<br>thanks - just a plate of fries'<br><br>The waitress walked away and Dirk looked around the room.<br>Apart from a family seated in the far corner there was only<br>one other person in the restaurant - and he wasn't eating. The
<br>guy was about mid twenties and had straggling, shoulder<br>length hair. On the table in front of him were lots of pieces of<br>paper cut into squares. Every so often he would pick up a<br>camcorder and pan it around the room and then, when he was
<br>finished, speak into a microphone which was attached to a<br>tape recorder. Dirk walked over to where the man was sitting.<br><br>The small pieces of paper had paragraphs of text written on<br>them and were stuck to the top of table with blobs of mustard.
<br>Lines had been drawn, some solid some dotted, on the table<br>top with a marker pen. The lines ran from one piece of paper<br>to another.<br><br>'What are the lines for?' Dirk asked, realising straight away<br>that 'What the hell are you doing?' would be more
<br>appropriate.<br><br>'You see' The man replied nervously 'The dotted lines are<br>weak links and the solid lines are strong links. The dotted<br>lines are things which are happening in the rest of the world<br>and the solid lines are things which are happening to me. Now
<br>you see I draw over a dotted line, replacing it with a solid line,<br>when I can link something back to me. Like this' The pen<br>squeaked over the Formica and before Dirk could interrupt<br>the man added. 'You see I lost my short term memory and, as
<br>a consequence have a very short attention span. I write down,<br>record and film everything then put it all together later'<br><br>'So' Dirk interrupted. 'You filmed what happened here?'<br><br>'Yes, yes, it's here on this tape' The man pushed the cassette
<br>across the table. On the label the words 'Grassy Knoll' had<br>been crossed through and replaced with 'MacDonalds'.<br><br>Suddenly the man sprung from his seat. Dirk turned and saw<br>that the body was being removed on a stretcher. As it passed
<br>the man picked a small object off the edge of the stretcher<br>itself. 'This is important' he said, laying a blood stained bullet<br>on one of the small pieces of paper on the table.<br><br>Suddenly the room was filled with a deafening throbbing
<br>sound as a Black Helicopter landed in the street outside. Two<br>men in United Nations uniforms got out and collected the<br>stretcher. Back at the table the long haired man was replacing<br>all the dotted lines with solid ones. Dirk panicked and began
<br>to walk backwards at some speed. Barging through the swing<br>doors he stumbled into the kitchen, tripped and felt himself<br>sink slowly into a large vat.<br><br>'The guys fallen into the batter' Dick heard someone shout
<br>before he sunk below the surface. He came to sitting in a chair<br>with the batter solidifying all over his body. He surveyed the<br>room through two eye-holes someone had cut. Suddenly the<br>chair on which he was sitting was picked up carried through
<br>the restaurant and out of the building. As the chair was being<br>lifted and put into the back of a van, Dirk caught a glimpse of<br>the waitress following him. 'Your fries mister, your<br>plate o...'.<br><br>The doors of the van shut and Dirk tried desperately to steady
<br>himself as it sped across town. Eventually the doors flew open<br>and Dirk was flung into the road at which point the solidified<br>batter shattered and set him free. Standing up he found<br>himself outside the international departures terminal of
<br>Toronto airport.<br><br>In the departure lounge Dirk had time to reflect on the day's<br>events. He had got caught up in the conspiracy theories and<br>the haphazard welding together of pieces of irrelevant<br>information. It was time to catch the person who was
<br>operating the bizarre cognitive engine which appeared in<br>front of him like a fairground mirror, distorting any flaw it<br>could find in his own, fragile, map of the real world.<br><br>Dirk leant into the aisle of the plane as it took off for London.
<br>The oversized person next to him swung his arms violently as<br>he complained about every thing from the supper in a plastic<br>tray to the state of British politics. With a shaven head and a<br>badly fitting suit the man looked as though he could have
<br>worked behind the reception desk of the Kremlin. However<br>when he spoke he did so in a Liverpudlian accent. 'Me I<br>blame the Con-serv-a-tive government, me. The Tour-rees.<br>That-cher. Me. They need a good kicking' He jerked his feet
<br>forward and struck the seat in front with his Doc Martins.<br>'With these. Me Doc Martins. Doctor Martin's, Doctor<br>Martin's, Doctor Martin's Booots!' The phrase was now<br>being sung over and over again as the man writhed in his seat
<br>and clicked his fingers.<br><br>Dirk looked down at the boots and thought of the reaction<br>most people used to deal with the paranoids at the end of the<br>wire. A nice quick kick. 'Oi nutter - get some therapy'. This is
<br>the easy way out and perhaps the safest. After all there you<br>are sat, alone, in front of the screen. No body language<br>between you some paranoid. No way of telling if he really is<br>some gibbering psycho. Look at it too long and you be drawn
<br>in. Fall into the tangled database of weird links with him. Who<br>knows he may be watching you, reassembling and linking your<br>experiences with his. How sure are you of you own cognitive<br>threads. After all cognition is only a bug fix for a neurological
<br>system which was designed in a hurry - it's abused by<br>everyone from politicians to advertisers. If people really can<br>convince each other that a bottle of washing up liquid is as<br>exciting as an orgasm using just television God knows what
<br>they can do with a computer. Better to avoid the risk. A swift<br>kick. After all if you're Homophobic you put the boot in<br>because you are scared of any ambiguity in your own sexuality<br>- why not be Nutterphobic as well.
<br><br>Although Dirk would have liked to devoted time to tracking<br>the culprit down he decided to let it rest. The Internet<br>changed over the next twenty odd years. A lot of the people<br>who used it went out and got lives. And those who already
<br>had lives burnt them away. The number of users had dwindled<br>after someone had invented a C++ program, with truth as a<br>variable, to deal handle politics and government. Dirk had<br>already retired from finding old ladies cats with the help of
<br>obscure science when he got another call from Toronto.<br><br>It was 4th March 2025 when he booked onto the Air Canada<br>flight from Heathrow. The silver haired woman in the seat<br>next to him painted bright red lipstick around her mouth. 'Of
<br>course it was no surprise to be offered the job after Claire<br>Raynor retired' she sneered' After all I used to be a<br>psychiatric nurse... Now if Blokes had periods they would<br>understand...'<br><br>By chance the taxi ride to Toronto mental hospital took him
<br>past the MacDonalds - where the whole thing had started. Of<br>course it was barely recognisable having become a Church Of<br>Scientology Vedgie Bar. Police in riot gear kept the two sets<br>of demonstrators apart. Dirk didn't really know what to
<br>expect when he got to the hospital. The girl at the reception<br>desk directed him to a row of chairs in a wide well lit<br>corridor. There was a strong smell of disinfectant, the<br>furniture and the carpets were immaculately clean and behind
<br>the rows of teak veneer doors the 'nutters' were all safely<br>locked away. For some reason Dirk started thinking about<br>CompuServe forums.<br><br>A tall blond woman in a white coat approached. 'Mr Gentle, I<br>assume'
<br><br>'Yes' Dirk replied shaking her by the hand. 'You're the nurse<br>who...'<br><br>'Doctor' She interrupted, 'Doctor Killfile' She led Dirk across<br>the corridor towards one of the doors then stopped with her<br>hand resting on the handle. 'Now you know about this person
<br>don't you?' and after Dirk nodded she continued 'Don't tell<br>him anything about yourself - don't let him get into you head.<br>If he does he'll screw it up'<br><br>The door opened to reveal a frail man sitting in from of a TV
<br>screen. He had a keyboard on his lap and next to the television<br>was a computer screen. Dirk glanced at the walls of the room<br>and remembered that his settee at home need upholstering.<br>The nurse left the room and the man looked up 'So you come
<br>to my daughters wedding and ask me to kill a man' he said in<br>a dry cackling voice. 'Look' he continued, pointing at the<br>screen, 'I know that man. They're talking about me now -<br>listen'. The man stared at Dirk. 'What's your name? Are you
<br>one of my friends from the Internet? - Are the lambs still<br>screaming Dirk?'<br><br>Dirk, at first recoiled in horror, then felt a sense of anti<br>climax. So this is what they hyped up to superstar status on<br>the back of their own fears of madness. Dirk was reminded of
<br>the film 'A day on The Beach' where a submarine had set off<br>to search a post nuclear World to track down a signal coming<br>from a remote military base - only to find it was being sent by<br>a Coke bottle half balanced on a Morse tapper. Outside the
<br>room the nurse waited for him. Because his nicotine craving<br>had returned - and to avoid an awkward piece of dialogue -<br>Dirk turned to her and asked . 'Patch?'<br><br>Dirk took two nicotine patches from his wallet the first of
<br>which he stuck onto the inside of his arm. Stepping closer to<br>Doctor Killfile he opened her white coat and slid his hand<br>into the opening at the front of her dress. He pressed the<br>patch onto her leg as close to the top of her inner thigh as
<br>he dare. She took a deep breath and then slowly breathed out.<br>'What Bogart could have done with these things' Dirk<br>thought to himself.<br><br>'Is he crazy?' Dirk asked tilting his head back to towards the<br>door.
<br><br>'Who knows' Doctor Killfile replied 'We let him type away.<br>He sees something on the TV in the morning and it keeps him<br>busy all day. What he types doesn't go anywhere it just stays<br>on a mainframe in the basement. It can be read by anyone else
<br>in the building but that's it. We got them all in here conspiracy<br>theorists, racists, nationalists. They've created a world within<br>a world really...' Her voice trailed away and she stared down<br>the corridor for a while then added 'So long are two things
<br>are different neither will come to be in the other and so<br>become at once both one and two.'<br><br>Dirk gave her a puzzled look 'You mean their brains are<br>fried?'<br><br>'Fried?' Killfile smiled at Dirk 'No that was Plato'. Then the
<br>smile fell from her face. 'You must remember, mister, plate<br>o...'<br><br>413<br><br><br><br>_______________________________________________<br>Python mailing list<br><a href="mailto:Python@py.cz">Python@py.cz</a><br>
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